Monday, June 1, 2009

&$!# Disneyworld.

There we were at Disneyworld, hitting all the big guns: Spiderman, Hulk, Dueling Dragons, and more. We did the "Kid Swap" which does not mean you swap your tantrum-filled child for a better one. It means a child goes on a ride twice, once with each parent. Not sure who thought of this sweet deal, but he/she is genius.

Anyway, as I did with many rides before, I waited for the hubbs and our daughter to exit the ride so I could have my turn with her.

I was bouncing around like Muhammod Ali, punching the air, all fucked up on sugar, caffeine, and adrenaline. Those rides are addicting, each one bringing me a little closer death. What a rush!

There she was, off the ride, walking toward me so she could ride it again. "Ready Parks?" I asked, all wild-eyed and hysterical. I needed to get on that ride NOW.

She shrugged tentatively and said, "Uh, you know, it's okay. We don't have to go." I explained that she's safe, it's just a ride, and she'll be fine.

She said, "That's not it. I'm not scared. It's just...well, could you not swear so much while you're on the ride? It makes me uncomfortable."

Wait, what? Now, I realize I swear shit-tons in this blog, but I promise you, I'm fucking June Cleaver around the house. I could drop an anvil on my toe and I'd say, "Bananas!". So this whole "swearing-on-Disney-rides" debacle was a shock to me.

I said, "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize I was swearing, honey. I will keep my yap shut, I promise." My husband was barely containing himself, picturing how many times he'll tell this story to everyone we know.

We got on the ride, but I have to tell you, it wasn't the same. I don't mean to pollute the family-friendly atmosphere, but some drops and turns deserve a "Holy Shit!". It just isn't the same without it.

I took a break from rides the rest of the afternoon, watching the younger one ride the lame elephants. And you know what? It was just as rewarding, seeing her face light up on that stupid thing.

While she was only 10 feet up in the air, she thought she was soaring through the sky. Here's what is so cool about kids: their imagination still lets them float in the magic of it all. We should all be so lucky to experience it again with a child. It instills in us the imagination that trickled out as we grew up.

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