Friday, June 19, 2009

Kids...or are they?

My daughter had a fastpitch softball tournament recently. She's nine years old, but the girls, excuse me, women, she was playing? They had to be drinking age. They were 6 ft tall and ready to rumble.

We watched our little rugrats giggle out to the field, completely oblivious to the ass-kicking that was about to happen. The first girl up to bat was ready to crush it. She let out a breath and I think she said, "fucking kill it".

What is injected into food these days, pure steroids? These girls were wearing makeup and bras for crissake. And they needed the bras, which is even more baffling. This is an 8-10 yr league.

Is the rest of the world evolving into larger, stronger people, and our entire softball is exempt?

I looked over at their dugout. I think one was spitting out chew and another was nursing a hangover with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. Let's put it this way: if they were in my wedding, they would not have stood out as being children.

The assault lasted one hour and thankfully no one was hurt. But I'm still left totally confused. We're they 8-10 years old and we need to seriously contemplate the hormones in food? Or did the entire team push the age limit on the league?

I'm hoping they were assholes that pushed the age limit on the league. Because if some of those girls were 8 years old...damn. Childhood is getting cut too short.


  1. I think it's something in the WBL water. My son is on a 14U baseball team and I'm pretty confident half the kids we play drive themselves to the game. Our team looks like a bunch of little people next to these corn fed boys!

  2. I wonder the same thing. My son is only 11 years old and he is already 5'7" tall, weighs 200 lbs. and has a size 13 mens foot now! HOLY HELL what is in the damn water!!

    And here, I have my daughter at 5'3" with a size 8 shoe and she isn't growing anymore and she is only fifteen. Strange...............

  3. It's pretty creepy, isn't it? I'm sticking with my non-GMO, vegetarian diet. I'd rather not see my boys shaving before they finish third grade, thankyouverymuch.