I was at McDonalds yesterday and met a young mother. Before I saw her infant, I knew she had an infant.
It looked like nighttime punched her the face, creating those dark circles under her eyes. Her thong was crawling up out of her sweatpants and her hair was was barely in a ponytail from the previous night.
She was beautiful.
We've all been there. But when I visited this place of chaotic Toddlerinfantville, the competition was less.
These days, it seems you need to enter a club before associating with other moms. The ticket includes organic food, breastfeeding, sleek strollers, and wooden toys.
If you don't have all of them, you're judged, criticized and outcasted before you can say, "My nipples kill."
C'mon ladies, play nice. There's no need for a verbal throwdown if someone allows their child to play with a plastic toy.
My new McDonalds friend summed it up by saying, "I was prepared for motherhood to be hard. And it is. But what's harder, is the judgement from other mothers. That part isn't in the books."
What is this phonomenon? Why are new mothers shredding instead of supporting? Are we all so fucking insecure that we need to rip someone a new asshole to make ourselves feel like we're doing it right?
That can't be the answer.
I'm going out on a limb here, but I think new moms should try a new route for a while. Give others permission to make their own choices and be the person they need to be. Lighten up for crissakes and enjoy paving your road.
Let others make shitty mistakes. Your job is to be there when they learn from them. Because we all make shitty choices along the road. No one is exempt from mistakes.
And we shouldn't be. It's how we learn and grow. It's expected and needed.
How else will we become wise old grandmothers with rollers in our hair?