Friday, February 12, 2010

Dry Humor.

Dry Humor is defined as: "A form of comic delivery in which humor is presented without a change in emotion or facial expression, usually speaking in a monotonous manner."

My humor can be very, very dry indeed. So dry, in fact, often people think I'm either incredibly stupid or incredibly rude. Rarely funny though, except for my beloved husband, who laughs along with me (sometimes). Thank God.

It would make for a difficult marriage if he didn't understand that I'm brilliant and simply making fun of mundane shit.

I attached our favorite Bud Light commercial (, "The Swear Jar." The best part is the woman asking for a pen, so I tend to become her real life. Channeling other characters makes me worry a bit about my stability, but whatever. There are worse things in life than laughing at stupid shit.

For example, we were recently in the Dominican, a business trip for my husband. Sitting at the table I said, "Will you pass the fucking water?" to the hubbs and I got a few glances. They thought I was seriously rude to him. Or at the pool as he walked away, I said, "Can you get me a fucking towel?

The woman lying next to me looked at me like, "You got two broken legs, diva?" She was ready to throw me down, so I assured her it was a joke. I laughed and said, "It's an inside joke. Kind of our thing."

She didn't believe me.

I do love imitating Penelope from Saturday Night Live. The classic one-upper. "So I'm more on time than you are, in fact I own time, and all the minutes in it, soooooo..."

Then of course there's the celebrity fake-out. When the hubbs and I watch movies I always say with great confidence, "God, I didn't know Sandra Bullock could be dark. She's great in this movie." He gets all fired up and says, "Seriously? Kelly, that is not Sandra Bullock, it's Hilary Swank. How could you think that's Sandra Bullock, they are nothing alike at all."

To not know celebrities is a personal offense to a lot of people, especially my husband. We'll be walking down the street and I'll say in all monotoned seriousness, "Is that Vince Vaugn" and he'll snap his around looking for Vince, then exasperated, he'll say, "I hate you."

But he's catching on and I love it. We were standing in line at the airport and he saw a beautiful blonde woman. He leaned in to me and said, "Check it out, Elin Nordegren is on our flight. Sweet." The man in front of him looked at him like, "What a dick. He thinks Elin Nordegren is taking a public Delta flight."

See? And THAT my friend, is what makes dry humor so funny.

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