Monday, June 14, 2010

Walking Birds.

I'm just going to come right out and say it because I can't figure out how to ease into this blog. My apologies to all bird-owners in case one them described below is you.

My parent's neighbor walks her pet bird. She straps on a "walking cage" and takes it for a walk so it can have fresh air. What is this world coming to when we grab an animal out of the sky and put it in a cage so it can have fresh air? It HAD fresh air (and freedom) before some douche plucked it out of the fucking sky and decided to make it a pet.

Plus, I have to wonder if this woman understands that her pet is not actually receiving exercise. It just sits in the backpack/walking cage. Who fucking invented a walking cage in the first place?

I can't get my head wrapped around this. The animal has wings and is not handicapped in any way, shape or form. Yet it's forced to go on a walk (or actually, just a ride) so it can have fresh air.

If we could have a conversation with a bird, how would it go?

Me: "Hey bird, I see you have wings and all, but why don't you step into this backpack so you can feel the breeze a little better?"

Bird: "Fuck off."

And there's MORE.

My friend "Beth" (I promised anonymity) "bird sat" her neighbors bird. It's kind of like babysitting, but much more demeaning. You see, Beth was asked to shower with the bird so it could have some "fresh water" on its feathers. I'm laughing so hard right now while I type this, so please excuse typos. She placed the bird WITH CLAWS on her fucking shoulder while she showered. This really happened, people. Believe it.

Honestly, wouldn't rain do the same thing? Like, let the godforsaken thing soar in the sky with wind and rain? Why are we trying to replicate nature when it already exists? Isn't that crazy-making behavior?

1 comment:

  1. OMG Kelly WOW thanks I needed this kind of laugh!